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My Anxiety & Depression story

DATE : 2017-06-15 18:09:45
I've had anxiety and depression for 3 years now. Over time it has just gotten worse. In August of last year I went to the doctors to get prescribed medication for it. When I first went in the nurse hand handed me a paper asking questions about harming myself, my sleeping habits, if I have had any suicidal thoughts, headaches, eating habits(appetite loss/gain), etc. Majority of them I marked down as yes. When the nurse came back in she took the paper, looked at it then looked at me. She smiled and asked me the questions again aloud. When the doctor came in she said " so I want to get deeper into what's going on". I nodded and started telling her that I've had points in my life mainly from high school til now where I get depressed. Sometimes I wake up and I just feel so down in the dumps, no reason for it, it just happened. No getting out of bed, loss of interest with things I love to do, no talking to anyone, no eating. I'm just there. She began to ask about my thoughts. I told her that I have had suicidal thoughts but never harmed myself. She asked when the anxiety started and I told her the headaches and chest pain started in high school which was 2009 but I never thought very much of it. I would tell my mom but she just brushed it off as just a migraine. I told her I would over think everything but sometimes when I wouldn't the headaches were still there. She explained that my mind still wandered, like it just keeps going. (Just a fact about me I shake my leg, during certain times, I fidget with my fingers, I rub my thighs, I play with my rings). My doctor noticed I was shaking my leg and asked me when I started doing that, I told her I've done it probably since before I could remember. She then asked why I do it? I told her that shaking my leg is both just a habit or a way I comfort myself when I feel overwhelmed. Mind you that as I'm telling her all this stuff she's typing into her computer. So then she asks if I have ever had an anxiety attack and what causes them? I told her yes plenty, I started to tell her it's a lot of things that set off the attacks. She nodded. And for a while I remember her just asking me a lot of questions. Then finally she sat down and said I'm prescribing you an antidepressant for anxiety and depression. I just remember feeling like a nut job, like that's how she saw me. I didn't know if there was something wrong with me because I was the only one who had this in my family. Anyways fast forward to 2 months later I go back and tell another doctor what is going on and that it was a check up on my medication. I had to redo the questions on the paper that the nurse gave me the first time. This time the doctor read them to be aloud and also my boyfriend was in the room with me. I marked more yes than before. Especially about my suicidal thoughts. She got worried and perscribed me for another antidepressant just for my depression, along with numbers for hotlines, groups, and a psychologist. When she left the room I jus


Writer : Sammy