It all went wrong....

It all went wrong....how could this happen to me? This is now the 2nd time this has happened....she says its her but I dont know.
She is my best friend and she always will be but she is scared of loosing me as a friend if anything were to happen....which I understand but im left asking myself the question.....why not take the chance? This girl is something else it's really hard to explain unless you have felt love before. Ive recently been engaged but what i feel for this girl is a million times more than i have felt for anyone else
Oh well
What are you going to do?
So i sit next to her at work everyday and yesterday was such a hard day that i actually had a break down.....long story short that recently I had to put my dog down he suddenly became sick and got had cancer it was so sudden i barelly got to say goodbye to him. It killed me inside. I am starting university on Monday which is something I cant avoid so I am super excited yet really nervous and anxious and because i have depression it is not a good combo but mix that with the death of my dog and my best friend saying no.....im feeling really alone right now.

I guess to some people it doesnt sound like much but it really has crushed me and im really struggling with life right now
I wish i could have more to update you with....will probably start talking about uni life soon. Really hope I find some new friends but I really dont know. Im 29 so 10 years older tham most of the students but you never know.
I guess i have to turn that page and write on the blank space....stay tuned.....its either gonna be good or its going to be really bad!!!